What a Difference a Year Makes

Today, one year ago exactly, my life changed in a dramatic, painful, and all-encompassing way.  Every single truth I knew about my family, my husband, myself, and even my God was shaken to the core, scrutinized and questioned, and  in a sense...shattered. It's been a long, hard year of picking up the shattered remnant of my life. I've made so many choices this year....some successful...some desperately failing...all very hard. I am different now. My goals and my dreams have been altered. I have hit many of my 40x40 goals...and run away from even more. I have learned more about myself this year. So, I thought   I'd share what I've learned: 

*God's sovereignty isn't dependent on our obedience and reverence to Him

*God's plan for families is counterintuitive. When we want to run...He says stay. When we want happiness, He wants abundant life of joy despite sorrow. When we want to take matters into our own hands, He reminds us that He has (and always has had) the reigns.

*Children are a blessing from The Lord 

*Depression is a real, debilitating, physically painful and devastating condition

*We all need friends who love you even when you're broken. 

*How utterly undeserving am I to be called the daughter of God, to have been adopted with unconditional love and unmerited favor as a co-heir with Jesus.  How indescribably grateful I am that He didn't look at my sin and my pain and my brokenness and see a lost cause or a pile of trash, but instead pursues me and cherishes me and calls me His own. Thank you, Abba Father, for being what we can never be.

Today, I choose to be better. I choose to return to Him. I choose to trust Him for my healing. I choose Christ.